Market Recap: Tariffs, Inflation, and the Madness of Dogecoin

Traders, how are you? It’s Marcello, and we’re diving into last week’s market chaos—finance, economies, war, and of course, Dogecoin still refuses to die. Oh, and Elon Musk is making moves in AI. Let’s get into it.

Tariff Wars: Maybe Trump Wasn't That Crazy?

So, the tariff war is still raging, but guess what? Canada and Mexico tapped out. Turns out, Trump was using tariffs like a high-stakes poker player, pushing them to lock down their borders and stop the flow of, well… "undocumented entrepreneurs" and drugs. Now, Mexico and Canada have sent in their military.

But Trump isn’t done. He announced a 25% tariff on aluminum and steel—and investors, for some reason, just shrugged. He also dropped another bombshell: if a country slaps tariffs on U.S. goods, we’re hitting back. Fair play? Maybe. But expect fireworks.

Inflation, Retail Apocalypse & Rate Cut Rumors

Wednesday’s CPI print showed inflation at 3%, which is higher than expected. Translation? The Fed might start cutting rates sooner rather than later because things aren’t looking too hot.

Then, on Friday, retail sales cratered—down 0.9%, almost three times worse than expected. Apparently, consumers are tapped out. Yet, somehow, the NASDAQ ended up positive, making it the only U.S. index in the green. Even the Communist Republic of Canada’s market was positive. The Dow and S&P 500? Red.

Global Markets: Who’s Winning?

• Europe: Mostly higher. Russia? Up 7% (guess their economy isn’t collapsing like the media says). Germany’s DAX gained 3.33%.
• Latin America: Winners across the board. Brazil’s Bovespa jumped 3%.
• Middle East & Africa: Mixed. Also, PSA—have you seen the Maldives of Saudi Arabia? Wild. Check it out.
• Asia & Pacific: Mixed. Hong Kong’s Hang Seng was the biggest winner.

Bitcoin & Crypto: Argentina’s President Pulls a Pump & Dump

Argentina’s president hyped up some shitcoin, and it immediately tanked 97% after he tweeted about it. Naturally, he deleted the tweet and blamed "the elites." Classic. Meanwhile, Bitcoin inched up 1.52% and sat at $97,629 on Saturday morning.

Commodities & Energy: Russia & Venezuela in the Spotlight

• Venezuela started importing light crude again. Friendly reminder that this country sits on the largest oil reserves in the world and still can’t produce clean gasoline. Communism, folks.
• Russia might be forced to slash crude output thanks to U.S. sanctions and Ukraine drone strikes on refineries.
• Oil prices dropped amid peace talk rumors. Trump claims he’s been in touch with both Putin and Zelensky—so maybe, just maybe, this war winds down soon.

Cacao Crisis & the RFK Cancer-Free Chocolate Movement

Happy Valentine’s Day—if you can afford chocolate. Prices are down from all-time highs, but reporters say it’s still 10-20% more expensive this year. Meanwhile, RFK Jr. is officially in the race to “Make America Healthy Again” (his words), meaning no more cancer in your chocolate.

Gold & Silver: The COMEX Conspiracy

Gold hit another record high at $2,963.30 before closing the week at $2,883. Silver followed suit, up over 1% to $3,223. But the real story?

There’s speculation that the COMEX (the exchange handling precious metals) doesn’t actually have enough gold and silver to cover all the contracts they’ve sold. People are requesting physical delivery at a five-year high, double the previous record. So, is there a shortage, or is this a well-orchestrated financial illusion? Stay tuned.

Argentina: The Libertarian Experiment is Working

For the first time since Javier Milei took office, inflation dropped to 2.2%, the lowest print in a while. His no-nonsense approach—slashing government waste—has already lifted 8 million people out of poverty. Compare that to the U.S., where we’re racking up a $2 trillion deficit, and you start to see the difference.

Currency & Inflation Updates

• Indian Rupee hit a record low on Monday but then had its best day ever, gaining 0.69% against the USD.
• China’s inflation is spiking at its fastest pace in five months.
• U.S. Producer Price Index (PPI) rose 0.4%, above expectations. More inflation pain incoming?

Singapore’s Rise: From Fishing Village to Billionaire Playground

Singapore’s GDP grew 4.4%, its fastest growth since 2021. If you don’t know the story—this tiny nation went from a dirt-poor fishing village to one of the world’s richest countries in about 50 years. No natural resources, just smart policies. They even control two of the world’s top 10 sovereign wealth funds.

Corporate News: Musk, AI, & Lyft’s Robo-Taxis

• Elon Musk and friends offered $97.4 billion for OpenAI. Sam Altman rejected it.
• T-Mobile’s stock popped after they launched satellite texting.
• Lyft is bringing robo-taxis to Dallas by 2026. Get ready for a wild ride.
• Rivian’s electric vans are finally available for the general public.

The Space Race: AI-Designed AI Chips & Laser Light Travel

• AI is now designing its own AI chips. What could go wrong?
• Scientists developed laser-powered sails that could propel spacecraft much faster. Maybe Elon gets to Mars sooner than expected.

International Drama: Russia Loses Its Energy Grip

The Baltic States (Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania) are cutting their electricity ties with Russia to integrate with the EU. This also cuts off Kaliningrad, Russia’s isolated enclave. Putin’s probably thrilled about that one.

Bonus Fun Fact: Canada’s Ancient Civilization

Archaeologists found an 11,000-year-old settlement in Canada, proving that indigenous people weren’t just nomads—they had long-term communities way before Europeans showed up.

Oh, and an Asteroid Might Hit Us in 2032

NASA is tracking asteroid 2024 YR4, which has a 2.3% chance of impact in 2032. Not the highest odds, but maybe keep an eye on that one.

That’s your market recap for the week! Let me know what you think in the comments. And remember: the Preppers were right.